The Downside of Working in a Sex Shop
by Rhavia
Summary: ... is trying to keep it a secret from your angst-riddled older brother, and the inevitable moment in which he finds out. - - Side piece of 'Sunshine, Rainbows and a Vibrator'


**A/N: **This is essentially a little extra to 'Sunshine, Rainbows and a Vibrator' (after/during chapter 3) though you don't really need to read that to get this one. Basically just know that Kou and Rei work in a sex shop (because hurrah for AUs!)

If all goes according to plan, I'm gonna try write an Aiichirou chapter and a Rin chapter, but we'll see if I get enough ideas to fill my word count goal. Apologies for any writing errors too, a lot of this was written while my sleep-deprived mind finally decided to throw some ideas at me.

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**Chapter 1**

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"Ugh, man," Kou grumbles around a mouthful of food as she checks her watch for the sixth time in 3 minutes. _I swear time is against me! And it's only on the days I'm late! _Which is only sometimes – honest! She tries to pick up the pace as she hurries down the road but she's pretty sure she's already walking as fast as her legs will carry her. _I am so late_.

Stopping for a Subway may have been a bad idea, she admits, but how was she supposed to know they would be training new staff? They're usually pretty quick in there even with queues, and she needed a lunch, dammit! Last time she had gone without had been the day Rei had chosen to get back at her for teasing him about that blond kid, claiming till duty for himself even when she had begged (and she does not beg lightly). Kou's stomach had growled away without a care in the world while she had served customers. It was so loud it was like someone had placed a megaphone to her belly. _Never again. _Thankfully her crush hadn't been in that day; not that she would have had to serve him. By this point he really only came in to flirt with her.

She wolfs down half of what remains of her sandwich, not caring to even try to look ladylike. Swallowing proves to be a bit of challenge though and she has to down a swig of her Coke to save from choking and dying. _Today is not your day, Kou_.

It's not even her fault she's late! Her brother had finally decided to call her back about going out for lunch just as she was heading out the door. Man, that had been a fun conversation…

"Aw man, I'm sorry Rin, I can't. I've got work—" she'd stopped herself there. He didn't know she had a job. She'd have to explain. Shit. _Shit shit shit._

"Work?" he'd asked, as usual using as few words as he physically could.

"Uh, yeah…" she'd hedged, "I'm helping Hana… 's parents with some… decorating!" Great. Great lie, _well done Kou._ She had sounded horribly unbelievable, so she had then done what she did best: bullshitted the details. "I'm getting paid for it though! Mainly in food, probably, but I'll get some money. It might be like slave labour but, hey! Better than no money!" She laughed awkwardly and prepared herself to babble on if he tried to pick apart her lie.

He'd grumbled about her being too enthusiastic about 'painting some damn walls', thankfully seeming to put him off asking any further questions. They had reorganised for next week.

_Note to self: make sure to switch shifts._

By the time she's on the Main Street Kou has made up most of her time and is feeling quite proud of herself. Sure, she's still going to be a few minutes late but she _might_ just make it in enough time not to get her pay docked. She's had worse days, anyway.

She's in the door about to skip up to the register and announce cheerfully to Rei that she _can so_ turn her bad record around, when her heart gives an almighty thud against her rib cage and nearly bursts full throttle from her chest. Kou darts around the outside of the store, back pressed flat to the window as her heart tries manically to escape the confines of her ribcage. She may have run half of the way here but her breathlessness from that sprint is nothing compared to how heavy she is breathing right now.

_Breathe, Kou. You were probably still thinking about that phone call._

In, out. In, out.

She composes herself. (Jesus how many people saw her do that? And she thought the incident with her stomach was bad.) She spins around, takes a breath, and tries to peer through the window. Unfortunately, there has only ever been a slither of vision into the store because of the banners and mannequins on show so all she can see from here is the cash register. Well, it'll just have to be the door then.

She peers round the corner, trying her best to look casual. _Oh so casual, people do this all the time in sex shops. It's like a standard: gotta make sure there's no one you know in there, right? _ She almost drops her phone as she darts backwards again. Right there. He was right in the entryway. _Oh my god, I was right! Rin is in the god damn store!_

She fumbles around on her phone, looking for her work number. This is bad, this is so so bad. Miho will totally understand if she explains, Kou will make sure of it if she puts up a fight, but _oh my god, why?_

Rei picks up the phone before it finishes its first ring. "Hello, An—"

"Rei!"Kou practically shouts down the phone. From through the window she can see him reel back from the receiver, then smile awkwardly at a customer who appears to have stopped their browsing to query this reaction. She would laugh if she wasn't preoccupied with being _absolutely utterly horrified_. "Rei, you need to put me through to Miho right now!

He eyes the receiver suspiciously before daring to reply. "Kou, what's wrong? I know you're late but usually you're not this... uncalm."

He's trying not to anger her. Bless. Kou doesn't think she even could be angry just now, all she's thinking about is avoiding inevitable crisis. "Rei, I'm outside, I'm outside," she says frantically, "but I can't come in!"

"..."

She knows the look that accompanies that silence all too well. Rei gives it to her whenever she says something contradictory or babbles and she always has to bounce in with an explanation before he throws some lecture at her about 'using her words'. "I can't come in!" she repeats, apparently because all sentences must come in twos right now. Words don't seem to be working for her today at all. Nothing does. Her mind is on red alert. Does she even know how to process her words anymore? _He doesn't get how important this is_. "You don't—you don't understand! _My brother is in the store."_

There's another silence on his end but this time Kou can see him scanning the customers. "I see," he says after a moment. "The redhead, he's with a shorter fair-haired guy?"

Shorter? Fair-haired? Kou's eyes pop wide. Aiichirou Nitori?! Well, that— they were together an awful lot, but she just assumed they had stayed friends after high school. Rin had never spoken about— _that isn't important right now!_

"Yes!" she cries. "Rei, you need to put me through to Miho ASAP."

"I can't. She's got a call at the momen—"

"When she's done then!"

"It... might be a while."

Oh. Damn her manager and all her long-ass calls. Punishment for interruption was no shifts for a month – Kou had learnt that the hard way once before. _But this is an emergency!_

"We could... sneak you in," Rei suggests hesitantly. She can see him peering at her between the mannequins with caution. Kou fixes him with a steely red glare through the window. When she sees him shrink under her gaze she feels just that little bit better about the situation. _Good, I still have control in some things_.

"Sneaking in? Are you serious? It's not that big a store!" She thought Rei was supposed to be smart. Smarter than her, at least.

"Miho is not going to be happy if you're late again."

That is true. And regardless of whether Kou had attempted to make contact, she would still get crap for not being there on time. _Ugh_, she has a perfectly valid reason!

She sighs. "If my brother sees me, we are going to drag Miho out of the office to face his wrath," she caves. (If such a thing happens, Rei is going to help her whether she likes it or not, and oh how he has heard stories of her brothers rage.) Rei turns to her and his eyes are sparkling from through the glass. He slides up his glasses and Kou watches him transform into what she likes to call "Detective Mode". She is doomed.

"Mai is still here. I'll ask her to stay an extra 15 minutes to help."

With that, he hangs up, and Kou is left glaring at her phone in the middle of the street. This has to be the worst situation she has ever found herself in. If her brother finds out she works in a sex shop (_I mean, we sell underwear and stuff too... Surely it could be worse?_), she would— well, she would die. Not just from embarrassment; he might physically kill her amongst the brawl of maiming all those who knew. His swim coach included. Shit. Her only fate is death. He'd been unhappy enough when she had become manager for the swim club in school - "It is not okay for you to be surrounded by shirtless guys! I swear to god, if they try anything—" - so this will sure be fun. She might convince her mum to break the news...

Well, she should look on the bright side, right? At least she has some dirt on him now. He thought her being surrounded by (very, very attractive - _those muscles_) strangers was a problem? Clearly it was more of a problem for him. Kou can't help but wonder how Aiichirou had managed it... Rin was a right pain in the ass. The Rin she knew, even if she squints to imagine him in relationships, would never under any circumstances come into a place like this without being pushed. Unless he was... really desperate…

She shudders. Ew, ew, nope nope nope!

"Kou?" Rei is standing by the entrance, giving her a concerned look.

She finally slips her phone into her pocket. "Sorry," she says, "Panic over, but I just thought about my brother being in our store and I just—" She cuts off, shivering again. "No no no, I don't need to know."

She wants to glare daggers at that smug smile Rei has, _the little shit_, but she has to focus on getting into the store without Rin seeing now. Oh man, what a treat. With Rei's strange impulse to make anything sly into some super secret ninja mission, she's not sure she'll survive. She may as well lay down in her grave now.

He glances back into the store and all of a sudden the smile is gone. _Aaand Detective Rei has decided to join us._

"Okay, Mai's talking to your brother now but—" Under literally any other circumstances, Kou would love to see her brother being approached by a sex shop salesperson (being Mai, she's probably carrying around one of those disturbingly realistic dildos to help sales, too – boy is she missing out on some good viewing here) but alas, her she is purposefully avoiding him in all regards to save from, y'know, being murdered by his rage, "–he doesn't look like he particularly wants to talk to be honest, this might be harder than—wait, never mind, his friend seems rather eager to ask questions."

Before Kou can comment, Rei grabs her by the arm and practically thrusts her into the shop. She squeals; she can't help it, she was _not expecting that, jesus Rei!_

"What are you—"

"Quick, behind the counter," he says. When she stares blankly at him, rather miffed that he would actually have the gall to throw her into the store, he shoots her a sharp, "No, really. Your brother might see you through the shelves," to which she practically dives behind the counter.

It's not a very comfortable fall; she bangs her knee off the edge of the platform and some of her hair may have snagged on the tape roll sitting under the till. Groaning, she props herself up into a sitting position and looks up to find that Rei seems to have vanished – freakin' lovely. She wipes down her skirt and eyes the countertop. _Guess I'd better take a loo—_

"What on earth are you doing?"

Kou whips her head round so fast that she almost topples over again and it takes her a moment to sort herself out as her vision decides to oh so kindly blur things from dizziness – and she's sure she heard a crack, which could potentially be worrying. A hearty laugh meets her ears and her chest deflates with relief as she realises that this person thankfully isn't Rin. Dizzily, she looks up, and her heart sinks all over again.

She may have escaped that lunchtime incident unscathed from the embarrassment of her crush seeing her, but today she had not been so fortunate.

"Uh… h-hey, Seijuro," she manages, then decides she might as well just cut to the chase. "I'm hiding from my brother."

The redhead's eyebrows almost leap off his face with the speed they shoot upwards. She's thankful when he turns only a fraction to glance through the store in search of her brother, before his wide eyes fall back on her. "Holy shit," is all he comments, and she nods vigorously in agreement. At least _someone_ has a normal reaction to this situation! Although, he's starting to grin now, which is marginally freaking her out. Why is he—oh jesus— _no—_

"I see you've been made aware of the situation," Rei says, making his way towards the till. _Rei, my saviour. _

That stupid smile is still plastered all over that idiots face though. "Need a distraction, Rei?" he asks brightly. Kou's stomach drops.

She arches back to catch a better glimpse of the two of them and sees Rei glancing nervously over his shoulder. "Perhaps," he considers, "It does look like Mai's conversation with them is wearing thin."

Rei shoots Kou a worried glance, and suddenly she's incredibly mad again. "Hey, hold on, where did you vanish off to? In my time of need, too!"

Before Rei can speak, Seijuro decides to jump in with his own comment. "Do not fear, damsel, I will come to your aid!" he proclaims loudly. Kou wants to curl up into a ball and die. As if her own dread and downright mortification at this whole thing isn't enough, here he is making her die that extra little bit of second-hand-embarrassment. _He's taking the piss, completely and utterly_—

"Captain?"

_Shit._ She knows that voice; Rin's friend Aiichirou. This is not gonna be good.

"Ai, what are—_fuck._"

She knows that voice, too. This is the furthest thing from helping she has ever seen a human being attempt. She would praise him for his efforts but was this really even necessary?

Seijuro is completely unfazed by this from the looks of things. "Rin! Aiichirou!" he chimes happily, then promptly abandons the register to meet them in the depths of (what her and Rei like to refer to as) the ~cubicle of love~. This might be a shop aimed purely at selling sex toys and accessories, with a sneaky wee business of underwear sales on the side, but imagining seeing three relatively built guys (besides maybe Aiichirou) sparking up a conversation in the middle of their little toy display isn't quite the natural order of things. At least it alleviates her mental trauma for a moment or two.

That is, until Rei is whisper-shouting at her to get up and make her escape while she has the chance. She uses the counter for balance as she makes her way up - man, her legs really are numb, how long was she actually sitting there for? - and creeps over to the other side of the store.

She's never much thought about where the staffroom location is in the grand scheme of things but she is so relieved that it's basically 10 steps away from the till, or 4-Rei-sized strides because goddamn everyone has longer legs than her. No wonder she's late all the time.

She's so relieved that before she closes the door, she doesn't think to lower her voice to thank him for saving her life. When she glances to check on her brother, a pair of pale blue eyes meets hers. Suddenly her skin feels like ice.

Aiichirou's eyebrows form a high arch and his mouth an 'o'. It would be cute, if Kou's blood wasn't running through her like permafrost. He accords himself swiftly, then smiles pleasantly and gives her a quick little wink before turning his attention back to the two redheads. She bolts through the Staff Only door so fast she practically catapults herself into none other than Miho.

"My, Kou," the older lady comments airily, "You sure are late today."

Kou is too horror-struck to even grace her boss with a reply. She simply shakes her head obscurely, mutters something unintelligible and barrels her way through to staffroom immediately afterwards. She dumps her bag and coat onto the table and collapses into a chair. Her head lolls over the back of the headrest, her hands twitch in her lap. _This… this is so bad. I don't… I did not expect this._

She doesn't expect Aiichirou to snitch on her about this – clearly the wink was meant to reassure her, and he doesn't seem like the type to try to get someone into trouble. Not on purpose, in any case. It didn't seem like Rin had noticed his look, anyway. She would know. There'd be some sort of commotion outside and several people would likely emerge with multiple bruises and puncture wounds. There was no way Aiichirou could keep this a secret forever though, he was too sweet and oddly obliging to Rin's commands.

Nononono this whole day has gone so disastrously wrong! How could it possibly get any worse?

Miho's sing-song voice echoes through the door from the hall. "Kou! Best get to work, don't want your pay to be docked too harshly!"

She grumbles, forces herself onto her jelly legs and takes a deep, deep breath.

She gives up.

_Maybe its fate telling you that he should know now, after a good year and a half. You got this. You can handle this. _

She can't, it turns out. She peers through as small a gap as she can manage when she opens the door to the shop and tries to make jerked eye signals from the tiny opening towards Rei, who is standing behind the counter again. He may be her saviour but sadly they don't have any special mental connection.

When her brother stalks past the door she all but yanks it shut with a shriek. Kou can hear them pause before moving on. These doors are mostly noise-proof, _thank the heavens_, but that sure as hell wasn't subtle. The exact same high-pitched strained sound escapes her throat again when the door opens from the outside, and she drops the handle as if it is red-hot. _Today had started off so good, too. I got my favourite sandwich and everything, Rin had finally stopped being an ass and we'd made plans to meet, until… well. Good bye life, I will miss you._

Rei's reassuring voice travels through the slit in the door, "Kou, you can come out now."

_Praise the lord._

When she's back on the till in a brother-free shop, she feels better. So, so much better. That was far too much of a thrill for one day. Rin is actually lingering outside, Rei has informed her, but she's pretty positive he's not going to turn around, probably texting or moaning to Aiichirou about why in the heck their captain was in the store (besides the… obvious reasons). Even if he did happen to turn back in, which is even less likely than Rei ever asking that blondie out, she's too worn-out to even do anything about it.

Kou's eyes find their way towards the entrance multiple times though, eyeing up the pair. She's about to let out the breath that's been sitting on her chest for the last fifteen minutes as they leave, when Aiichiro glances over his shoulder and gives her the smallest, cutest of waves before they leave.

She dives behind the counter on instinct, pulse raging in her ears.

Her world comes crumbling down.

That little shortie will be her undoing.

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_._


End file.
